Let’s just admit it, no matter how much we love our parents, we all get annoyed with them sometimes. Their over protective and nosy nature sometimes gets on our nerves. But have you ever realized that as we are growing up, the smallest things they have ever said, have started to make so much more sense now? No matter how ‘cool’ we think our generation is and how advanced and highly educated we are; the advice and the lessons from the older generations will always matter. You might not realize it now, but as you grow up, you will understand and realize the value of those golden words that came out of your parents’ or grandparents’ mouths.

‘Bimbaakash’ singer Bartika Eam Rai recently took to her Facebook handle to express how her mother’s lessons have started to make much more sense now as she is all grown up and is all on her own in a foreign land. Here’s what she wrote.

“A rather LONG post, but personal/confessional.

Growing up, my mother established a set of rules in order to implement a strict routine on how we went by with our days. Away from home, these two things have gotten more clearer for me as I slowly age.

1. As soon as we woke up every day, the first thing we were expected to do was find the elders in the house and bow down to them. So here we were, kids ranging from 1 year old to 7/8, all lining up half eyes closed, half awake, doing our Namastes. Oftentime, I used to forget this and thought it was a stupid rule to have in the house. I still did it, nevertheless, out of the fear of Aamaji.

2. The next one was to address each elder with “Ji”. Thus goes Aamaji, Papaji, Kokuji, Baajeji, Chyamaji, Kakaji, Dadaji, Nanaji so on and so forth. I thought it was utterly ridiculous. At boarding school, everybody addressed their family with Mom, Dad, Mummy, Ma…In conversations with my friends at school, I started addressing my mother as Mummy and father as Dad. I was ashamed to be the uncool person in all. I was ashamed. At nine/ten. What goes on inside the brain of a ten year old? This need to be accepted. This need to fit in. This need to please. It looks like a comical event right now, but this was one of my first coming of age experiences. Slowly, as I developed the knit of some of my closest friends (that are still my closest people until today), I got a little more comfortable. I had begun to leave the Jis on and off with elders and started getting by. But then at 15, I didn’t think any of that mattered anymore. I accepted the “Ji” situation. Some of my friends laughed at first, it was definitely unusual. I could have chosen plenty of other things but instead, I chose acceptance. I laughed with them. It passed. Eventually, even my friends started addressing my mother as “Aamaji”.

Recent events in the world have been so hateful, people are so discontented and take it out on their environment everywhere by playing God. I wish everybody the courage to accept themselves. I am black, I am black. I am chinky, I am chinky. I am gay, I am gay. I am what I am, unapologetically. More than that, I wish everybody to have the people around them be okay with that too.

I know minority because I have always been a minority. I am a girl. I am an Asian. I am a Nepali. I am a Rai. I am a fatherless girl child. In the world map, I belong to the third world. But even in the third world, I belong to the ethnicity of people who are not expected much from: the lower class. Our brothers are Expected to cause mayhem, our sisters are Expected to be teenage mothers, I went to a boarding school with around 8 Rais in around 1000 total student group, some of my friends’ mothers did not like them hanging out with me simply because I was a Rai. The entire class laughed at me while studying Imaan Singh Chemjong because it had a line that said “Kiraantiharu junglee hunchan.” The chapter was supposed to prove otherwise. At home, my mother discussed these things with me without me bringing it up. “Be stellar in your academics because intellect is the only thing you will take away as you age, these moments of segregation will pass,” she kept telling me, in varied versions. Instead of developing a sense of violence to the segregation, I chose to develop a sense of humor.

I took out all my pent up disturbance in my academics and writing. “I will leave everybody and settle down in a place nobody knows me,” is what I used to think, at sixteen. Now I realize that as we grow older, the segregation only gets wider. No matter how many oceans you cross, you will never get away from this. The unfairness only gets clearer. The limits only get higher. But when you accept yourself, you will be happier. And when you have worked on yourself, nobody else can bring you down. Also, thank you to Aamaji because I have lived through what I have. And I know now that the only reason I am surviving my battle is because of the blessings I received from every elder in my family in all the mornings that I was bowing to them, thinking it was ridiculous.

I realize today about what these two rules were supposed to instill inside of me:

1. Gratefulness

2. Being proud of your roots.

I wish everybody has the support system in their lives to build the courage to accept themselves. I wish everybody had a mother like Aamaji and when that is not possible, I hope there is a mentor like my strong, vocal mother. Acceptance is key: Of the people around you of course. But acceptance of yourself, to begin with. Accepting yourself works wonders! Positive thoughts, people. You Matter.

Also, when I was home the last time, I found the elders at my own will and bowed to them in the mornings, at 22. And today, even the supporters of my music who I have never met, address my mother as “Aamaji.” It starts from you, takes time but the world will follow suit.”

You can read the post on her Facebook handle HERE.

Isn’t it such beautifully written and isn’t it so relatable? There are so many things we can learn from this piece of writing and the most important ones are: value your elders’ lessons and be proud of who you are.

The New York based singer is also the winner of the pageant, Miss US Nepal 2013. Her debut album ‘Bimbaakash’ is now streaming on YouTube, check it out HERE. You can connect with her on Facebook HERE.

Enjoy this beautiful number.