Nope, Hugh E. Rexhun Didn’t Masturbate on Mt Everest Because He Doesn’t Exist


A lot of stuff always happen on Mt Everest and surely, a lot has been going on this climbing season as well — there are so many climbers trying to reach the top of the world’s highest peak, some of them have lost their lives trying and a major reason is the ‘human traffic jam’.

Moving forward; 22-year-old Nisha Bhote became the first woman from the ‘Bhote’ community to scale Mt Everest. Then this couple; Pemba Dorje Sherpa and his wife Kanchhi Maya Tamang; became the first couple to make most ascents of the mountain. On the other hand; veteran Sherpa guide, Kami Rita Sherpa (48), scaled the mountain twice in one week.

See, so many things happening. But nobody went up there and masturbated.

Wait, where did that come from?

This is not important but here’s what happened. A twat named Karim Shah Nizari shared a picture of three climbers on top of the mountain. The Twitter user who introduces himself as “climber, skier, extreme sports, tourism & founder world roof school, studied at Quaid-i-Azam university” had the audacity to blur one of the climbers’ crotch area and write:

“Today, with all the records being broken on Big #Everest, we have finally seen the first act of male masturbation on the highest peak on Earth. Hugh E. Rexhun, aged 36, frm Virgin Islands performed his feat at 11.11h local time in front of 120 cheering onlookers #Everest2019

Obviously, a lot of people are getting offended. After all, it’s a holy mountain for us, Nepalese and nobody gets to jerk off there (I am not sure if it’s even physically possible at those extreme temperatures, though). The people want the offender to get punished.

“Not everything you see on the internet is true”, issued in public interest.

First of all, how can you not get the pun? Who names their kid that sounds a lot like “HUGE ERECTION”. Geddit? Geddit??

Hugh E. Rexhun is not a real person, y’all. Calm down.

And secondly, that picture has been manipulated to make it look like the climber might have been doing something. Here’s the original picture:

I am done here. Okay bye.

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Neeraj Pun (NEO)

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